Blowing Off Steam: Tik and Val

[Tikreta]

Tik stands atop a footbridge that crossed possibly the least convincing artificial river in existence. Even 'river' was giving it too much credit. Based on a quick search of the Siren's databanks, apparently slow, meandering rivers through cities were considered 'romantic', which might explain why there was a stagnant body of water for they and Lav to cross over on their way to the nightclub.

If romantic is the general vibe the architects of this particular district are going for, Tik thinks, I certainly hope none of us meet them in a dark alley.

The water carried a sheen from the lurid holographic lights of the district that wasn't mere reflection. Things... floated on the surface. Oily things. Tik flexes their fingers, having to forcibly keep themselves from going to clean it up. Just keep walking. There are undoubtedly things in that water that would infect even an extradimensional projection.

The crew had been back on the Siren for ten galactic standard days now, bringing the ship to the dwarf planet in the Axtri system where they could restock and take advantage of the black market. There'd been an enormous amount of work and there was still more to come. Relations were... tense. None of them had left the captain on good terms and the fact Tik had clearly chosen the captain over all of them hadn't put them in their colleagues' good graces either. The fact that Tik currently spends an unfortunate amount of intellectual processing power on exploring the wisdom of that decision wasn't going to sway any of them.

A plan was hatched.

Reestablish a new relationship with each of them. Find the connections they had not made in their first tour of duty on the Siren and build them against the inevitable day when the captain decided that not only was Tik not enough, they weren't even useful at all. Even across dimensional barriers that grew more and more tenuous with each passing day, Tik felt their interior organs clench at the thought of that.

However!

Tonight would not be a night for dwelling on what might be (will be will be will be). Tonight would be a night for dancing.

Lavender is Tik's first target for Project Old Friends Are New Again, and the nightclub across the footbridge is where the plan will be put into action. The local archives said it was the best. What they didn't say was that it was square in the center of the very notorious red light district. Tik hopes that's not going to reflect poorly on their decision-making process. They take a quick look over their shoulder at Lav, trailing slightly behind them. Hard to say just what Lav is thinking.

Tik frets anew over their chosen projection. It might be too fancy for the current neighborhood. They've selected the native species of the most populous planet in the Axtri system, golden-skinned and willowy, six jewel-toned eyes in a circle around their elongated skull, thin-lipped mouth showing tiny, sharp, sparkling white teeth. Their robe is shimmering sheer white fabric that glows pink in the holographic glow, the hem brushing against the street as they walk. Thank stars it's only a projection... I would hate to have to clean the street filth off this.

You can hear the nightclub before you can see it, a muffled throbbing beat audible from here. It comes into view soon enough, though, and Tik relaxes a little. It actually might be fairly respectable. Tik pays the entrance fee and gestures for Lav to enter first.

[Lavender]

When Tikreta had approached them about going out together - alone together - Lav had initially believed it to be some kind of joke. Since re-boarding the Siren, they had tried to stay out of everyone's way. Not because Lav had some belief they wouldn't be useful. It was a weening. Seeing entities they had not seen in what felt like a lifetime took such an emotional toll, regardless of reactions. Xi'asz and his suspicion, even now, and the undercurrent of wounded pride. Burgundy tinged with Blue-Violet. Dr. Argent's nervous smile and curiosity that sometimes worried Lav for xer safety. Supple, soft orchid that crackles at the edge with electric violet. Even the Captain as they set to work, so focused, determined, driven by some need they had not yet vocalized fully. Such a rich royal purple, fading to iridescent midnight violet like the vastness of space.

Tikreta always made Lav most at ease, enough that their auracels barely seemed to register or change in response to them. Just warm lavender mixed with bronzy, burnished violet.

It was too many things at once, and Lav's head still pounded from not having a steady stream of substances to numb and dull their own nerves. Once on the Siren all of their usual 'hookups' as they had learned to be called, would be left to the far reaches, maybe never to be seen again. The Captain would not have let Lav take a few extra days to drain their resources to have an adequate supply, so Lav had to rely on what they could slip into their small cargo container, along with the leftover stock of questionable substances that Xi'asz seemed to have stocked the ship's bar with at some point.

So the evening would serve two purposes. "Catch up" as Tikreta brightly suggested, and see if they might find an appropriate 'source' for their long term needs.

Walking over the bridge toward lights of bright neon that illuminated the area in a sickly unnatural glow, Lav's mouth twisted into a grin. They had become distinctly aware of these kinds of locations since leaving the Siren. Sectors that once promised to be destinations where entities could meet, fall in love, celebrate their affections to each other at lavish dining locations or hotels, falling into the decay that comes with those kinds of emotions. Love replaced with lust and desire, and need not for affection but for contact, meaningless as it might be, to know that the creature still existed and could feel. And of course, "businesses" that could ply those feelings for steep markups and a steady stream of bodies interested in the same feelings and motivated by greed or other needs.

Lav took a moment to pop the collar on a cropped half-jacket made of some kind of flocked fur like material. As they did, microfibers in the fur seemed to crackle, emitting a glitter of lights that shifted in color along with the pulsing neon they were approaching. The jacket gave off an almost living aurora around them, while the open-front design drew eyes into what lay beneath, a dress made from milky polymers whose luminous sheen seemed almost liquid in nature as it coated the skin. The material clung to Lav's body perfectly, highlighting curves with smooth, glossy finish and sharp, strategic lines that dripped from their shoulders, hugging the waist, and ending daringly at the mid-thigh with a daring slit. On their own, Lav might look like any denizen of the sector they were entering. But with Tikerta's illuminating, classic contouring and design mixed with the holo-projection of an Axtri, it only emphasized their differences. Tikerta: classic, classy, warm. Lav: desperate, wanton, trash.

Still, Lav smiled. Perhaps Tik just knew where Lav would best fit in. Perhaps their former comrade just understood that this was the kind of place Lav deserved to be. Perhaps the idea would be to ditch Lav in the red light district and set the Siren far away. 'Wouldn't blame them; laugh thought as they waited with a feigned disinterest while Tik paid their entrance fee, the bouncer looking at them with a sort knowing glance that assumed more was happening in their relationship than just two former friends trying to reconnect. Lav just shrugged.

The music could be heard already, and it was calling. The pulsing beats, and the screaming bodies focused on something singular. Something comforting. That need, sensations of bliss and empty joy and intoxication. Shallow emotions. Not deep ones. Lav's skin almost electrified with the pulses of light that seemed to sync with the harmonic beats in an array that shifted from radiant lilacs to pulses of amethyst and mauve. Inside, a sea of bodies seemed to flow like an ocean bathed in neon and blacklight. The air was rich with smells of bodies in heat, sugars, and an under it all smoke, both artificial and from whatever illicit substances were being traded openly in secret. Everywhere seemed to be a light source, and centered toward the back a large stage where a figure dressed in opulent golds and silver bobbed while controlling mixed beats that never seemed to stop, never seemed to let you stop. They wore an obscene top hat, their face a black shadow leaving them anonymous. Just a ringmaster, controlling everything in this domain.

Lav took a deep breath as it all washed over them, a more natural smile starting to paint across their softly glossed lips as they let those shallow emotions float just on the edges of their mind. Maybe enjoy also.. they thought. They could do three things.

"We should find a table. And drinks. Divide and conquer? Or join me at the bar?" they asked, having to look up a bit to actually look into Tik's eyes in their current projection so their voice could be heard.

[Tikreta]

This is certainly not Tik's scene. For one thing, it's loud. For another, it's chaotic. But really, it's because it's just such an awful, awful mess. It simply can't be sanitary for fully manifested physical beings to partake of drinks of questionable origin in containers of even more questionable cleanliness. The whole place could stand a good industrial-strength sonic shower.

But they didn't come here for themselves, or at least not entirely. The goal is to get Lav away from the obvious distress the Siren and its crew is causing them and... and...

And what, exactly?

Tik's devotion, their emotional energy, has always been focused on the captain, but if there had ever been another crewmate that Tik could connect with, it would have been Lav. Tik's muted emotions, their lack of presence, always seemed to make their interactions with the empathic Lav a little less fraught.

Which doesn't explain why Lav wants to come to a place like this, where every emotion seems projected at sense-splitting magnitude, raw and unfiltered and messy.

"Oh, we should definitely find a table!" Tik says brightly. "And... drinks!" There's the briefest of hesitation, a bit of false brightness at the mention of drinks. Sure! Tik thinks, What you really need is a communicable disease to make you feel better!

They loop one arm through Lav's, bringing them together in a companionable closeness as they make their way through the crowds. There's an open table, tall and without chairs, near the edge of the dance floor proper and Tik commandeers it. "Do you still like to dance?" Tik asks. "I used to be so awful at it, even when I was able to project fully. Or maybe it was because I was projecting fully? When I got stuck in the one form after... well, when I got stuck in one form, I really learned to love dancing. We would go out and dance all night..."

It may be more difficult for Lav to sense Tik's emotions empathically, but it's not hard to read their expressions, even though they're an unfamiliar six-eyed and sharp-toothed entity in this form. The memory of dancing with the captain clearly causes them distress. "Though now that I think back on it," Tik says more quietly, "I wonder if it was only me that really enjoyed it." They lift their head and focus four of their six eyes on Lav. "I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I would love to dance with you. If it's something you would enjoy."

[Lavender]

Lav stood in moments of time, energy, space, and sound existing. Just existing. It had been their whole being since that time. The one thing the had a sense to know. The seedy club with its overexposed, negative refractions and thumping sounds let them just swim in empty existence, and the feeling of the club was an intoxication. The entity Lav could just wash away with it and they could just be..they.

"And... drinks!"

They heard Tik like a distant memory, only pulled into the present moment by the willowy arm wrapping around their own and pulling them forward, deeper into the club. Yes..

"Yes..drinks!" they responded, their own response echoing Tik's brightness but with less hesitation or feigned sincerity.

But Tik was leading them to a table first. That was fine too. Lav looked over their shoulder to the bar, just visible past a sea of people. Their entrance had not gone unnoticed. Two humans - males - leaned and leered at them. Instinctively Lav pulled their jacket down over their shoulder, a sense of what their eyes were seeking trickling across their senses. Perhaps they might have the substances Lav was seeking. Though - Lav thought - humans as a species were dangerous to trust. Too prone to letting their emotions get the better of them. Too much confidence that felt like will. Even in the vast span of the universe, their infinitesimally small population compared to other entities, seemed to scream they were at the center of it all. Lav would have to keep looking...

"...when I was able to project fully. Or maybe it was because I was projecting fully? When I got stuck in the one form after... well, when I got stuck in one form, I really learned to love dancing. We would go out and dance all night..."

Their attention was called back to Tik. It took a moment, but in the pause in their conversation Lav began to recognize Tik's expressions again. Even in different forms, they had traits that made them undeniably 'Tik': the way they rested their hands in front of them, how one finger seemed to tap, the look like they weren't sure what to do with their hands exactly or if this made them feel natural, normal. It was something that made Lav feel a pang of jealousy, auracels flickering for a moment to a deep teal-violet with an eerie green-blue undertones, glowing in an uneven, almost possessive flicker. The sensation itself felt odd. Jealousy was not needed for something that just existed. Maybe it was the conversation.

And there was more. Not just Tik trying to make conversation about dancing or how Lav chose to entertain themselves since they had parted ways. Something deeper. 'We..' Who was we?

"With Captain Keeyra you mean?" they asked after a moment. They needed the moment. While it stretched long enough to make the pause feel awkward, Lav was re-calibrating. They could not just exist with Tik. Presence, being present, was necessary. It was their time to feel pity.

They were about to say more when a silvery metallic creature floated over, resting two conical glasses with thin stems down in front of them. The neon yellow glowing liquid sloshed slightly as the drinks were delivered before the creature disappeared to deliver other items. They hadn't ordered anything yet. Lav had a guess where the drinks came from. "I.." Lav's voice tinkled over the din of noise, "have spent many nights dancing since we parted."They raised their glass toward Tik as if receiving an unsolicited beverage of questionable origin was completely and utterly normal before taking a drink "It would be wrong to come to this place and not indulge. We can dance all night long if you wish."

And that was it. All Tik had to do was say the words. Not ask. Lav was nothing..if not accommodating to that. And besides, Lav did want to dance, they thought.

Captain Keeyra has never been a dancer. Not for the fun of it. She said it made her seem less mysterious.." they smirked. The Captain would have never admitted it, and perhaps it wasn't fair for Lav to reveal such things. But Tik had to know, right? How the Captain's mysterious aura was in part because she just didn't say what they meant, or what they were thinking, or the why of anything. Lav huffed out a small laugh as they looked over the rim of their glass and into the sea of lights and sounds again. "Of course.., she would probably deny these things. She was quite drunk when they admitted this to me.."

► Show Spoiler

I accidentally let slip a secret that’s not mine to tell. How do you tease more information out of me, and what will you do with it?

[Tikreta]

Two humans - males - leaned and leered at them. Instinctively Lav pulled their jacket down over their shoulder, a sense of what their eyes were seeking trickling across their senses. Perhaps they might have the substances Lav was seeking. Though - Lav thought - humans as a species were dangerous to trust. Too prone to letting their emotions get the better of them. Too much confidence that felt like will. Even in the vast span of the universe, their infinitesimally small population compared to other entities, seemed to scream they were at the center of it all. Lav would have to keep looking...

Tik is, predictably, oblivious to the gazes of other entities. Their choice of form rarely has anything to do with (consciously, anyway) being alluring to other species. The concepts of sexual reproduction are nothing more than academic interests to them, including a benign bafflement at why so many species find the concepts so important. The men? They don't even register as a flicker across Tik's consciousness.

Rarely has anything to do with being alluring, but not never.

And there was more. Not just Tik trying to make conversation about dancing or how Lav chose to entertain themselves since they had parted ways. Something deeper. 'We..' Who was we?

"With Captain Keeyra you mean?" they asked after a moment. They needed the moment. While it stretched long enough to make the pause feel awkward, Lav was re-calibrating. They could not just exist with Tik. Presence, being present, was necessary. It was their time to feel pity.

Tik nods, bright tone coloring their response. "Yes, after the crew split up," they say. "The captain and I have been living together ever since." Tik's eyes perform a complicated dance of coordinated motion, their current species' version of a grin. "I've missed talking to you so much, Lav. I never have to explain everything to you, you always just... know what I mean," they go on, reaching to lay one long-fingered hand on Lav's upper arm.

As soon as their fingers make contact with Lav's arm, Tik flinches back. They turn their hand, hold it up before their eyes, slowly flexing the fingers. "Sorry... I'm... not used to physical contact any more. It's..." they say, shifting half their eyes to Lav, half still studying their hand. They reach out and take Lav's hand in both of theirs, as a way of apology and admission of guilt for the awkwardness.

They were about to say more when a silvery metallic creature floated over, resting two conical glasses with thin stems down in front of them. The neon yellow glowing liquid sloshed slightly as the drinks were delivered before the creature disappeared to deliver other items. They hadn't ordered anything yet. Lav had a guess where the drinks came from. "I.." Lav's voice tinkled over the din of noise, "have spent many nights dancing since we parted."They raised their glass toward Tik as if receiving an unsolicited beverage of questionable origin was completely and utterly normal before taking a drink "It would be wrong to come to this place and not indulge. We can dance all night long if you wish."

And that was it. All Tik had to do was say the words. Not ask. Lav was nothing..if not accommodating to that. And besides, Lav did want to dance, they thought.

Captain Keeyra has never been a dancer. Not for the fun of it. She said it made her seem less mysterious.." they smirked. The Captain would have never admitted it, and perhaps it wasn't fair for Lav to reveal such things. But Tik had to know, right? How the Captain's mysterious aura was in part because she just didn't say what they meant, or what they were thinking, or the why of anything. Lav huffed out a small laugh as they looked over the rim of their glass and into the sea of lights and sounds again. "Of course.., she would probably deny these things. She was quite drunk when they admitted this to me.."

Tik glances at the drinks, the ring of eyes doing another dance. Some look around for the culprit, some study the drink, some study Lav. They're still not yet convinced that actually drinking is a particularly safe idea.

They stand up straighter, echo their earlier expression of delight, when Lav offers to dance. Not just dance... dance all night, TIk thinks, a thrill of pleasure dancing through her projected form. All night.

And then, Lav drops a bomb -- a small, contained explosive with minimal physical impact maybe, but a bomb nonetheless -- into their conversation.

"She... doesn't like to dance?" Tik asks, voice suddenly small. Memories flood through their decentralized cortex, dancing along quantum connections between their physical dimension and their projected dimension, blazing one moment, chilling the next. All the times Kyeera had taken them dancing. All the times Tik had asked her to go dancing. The times Tik had strained and stretched to bring as much of themselves physically into this dimension, just to give Kyeera the contact Tik knew she needed. The exhaustion afterward, but worthwhile because Kyeera was happy.

You're not here. Not all the time, and almost never in the ways I want you to be.

Kyeera's voice echoes, whispering about the emotional centers of Tik's biology.

...never in the ways I want you to be...

Tik knows there's too much silence. They can feel pressure building up, pushing at the walls of self.

"What is it Xi'asz says?" Tik finally says aloud, voice suddenly careless, negligent, flippant. "Fuck it all? Let's drink?"

Tik reaches out and drains the contents of her glass, alien throat working visibly to drink it all down. It is...

"Oh, that is awful!" Tik says at first, choking the words out. "It's just like I would imagine swallowing the business end of a blaster to be like."

And then, all six of their eyes go wide and Tik emits a soft sound of pleasure. "Oh. Ohhhhhh...." Their shoulders relax, their posture goes liquid. "It's... warm. How -- how can I feel so warm, Lav? I can't protect -- er, project -- physical." It's like being lit up from inside, the blaster they've imagined swallowing not scorching their insides but illuminating them.

"Berries. That's a berry, isnit? I like berries. Do you like berries?" Tik mumbles. They lean forward, resting their head in their upturned hands, gazing at Lav with eyes starting to literally glow the color of the drink. It's not anything this species would normally do, but Tik's ability to accurately project the form seems to be... slipping. "I like you. Wanna dance?"

► Show Spoiler

I move to sit closer. Much closer. I’ll most likely pull away if you take things further. But for now, this is nice.

[Lavender]

The strobing colors of the dance floor muted the flickering colors of murky blue that tinged over Lav's skin in a moment of confusion watching Tik draw away so suddenly. As if on cue, the music became frenetic, similarly confusing, mixing beats and tempos that should not go together into one seamless spasm of sound that only ebbed as the ringmaster on his stage shifted to a new set. Lav pressed themself to appear pleased, brightening their features with the same soft lavender they used to wear so naturally when they were still naive and full of hope. "You have also been the one I have wished to see most, Tik.." they chimed, smiling genuinely. It was true, they told themself, as Tik squeezed their hands and looked back at Lav with that same awkwardness as before, as always.

It was like nothing had changed. And Lav's skin prickled as they fought with the frustration and anger that this was true for everyone but them.

"She... doesn't like to dance?" Tik asks, voice suddenly small. Memories flood through their decentralized cortex, dancing along quantum connections between their physical dimension and their projected dimension, blazing one moment, chilling the next. All the times Kyeera had taken them dancing. All the times Tik had asked her to go dancing. The times Tik had strained and stretched to bring as much of themselves physically into this dimension, just to give Kyeera the contact Tik knew she needed. The exhaustion afterward, but worthwhile because Kyeera was happy.

You're not here. Not all the time, and almost never in the ways I want you to be.

Kyeera's voice echoes, whispering about the emotional centers of Tik's biology.

...never in the ways I want you to be...

Tik knows there's too much silence. They can feel pressure building up, pushing at the walls of self.

"What is it Xi'asz says?" Tik finally says aloud, voice suddenly careless, negligent, flippant. "Fuck it all? Let's drink?"

Tik reaches out and drains the contents of her glass, alien throat working visibly to drink it all down. It is...

Lav's brow lifted, widening their already rather round eyes as Tik's chosen form shifted in confusion and pain.

'Bruised plum..stinging..aching..unreciprocated.'

They realized they couldn't sense it, couldn't feel it like the others, but in Tik's projection it was just there. They had struck some kind of nerve, accidentally. They had only intended on mocking the Captain, just a little, just because she wasn't here and Lav could in the same way that they used to be able to snicker behind the Captain's back when they issued some silly order to them or to Xi'asz to try and maintain some sense of command.

And instead, Lav had pushed Tik to drown themself in their first drink of the night. Must faster than Lav had intended. Admittedly, they had assumed they would end up drinking both. Tik had never been much of a drinker. But then again, neither had Lav way back then.

'Things have changed..' they though, toasting Tik back and downing the drink in its entirety. It burned, but was not the worst thing Lav had ever swallowed down. There was a special bottle of some self-brewed concoction made - Lav firmly believed to this day - out of discarded fuel stirred with sugar to try and make it "sweet." This at least tasted like some mixture of fruit.

"She was drunk when she said this..On leave just before.." Lav tried to soften and explain the situation, but felt their throat catch at the memory, "So perhaps I was wrong or..perhaps she has changed..."

"Oh, that is awful!" Tik says at first, choking the words out. "It's just like I would imagine swallowing the business end of a blaster to be like."

And then, all six of their eyes go wide and Tik emits a soft sound of pleasure. "Oh. Ohhhhhh...." Their shoulders relax, their posture goes liquid. "It's... warm. How -- how can I feel so warm, Lav? I can't protect -- er, project -- physical." It's like being lit up from inside, the blaster they've imagined swallowing not scorching their insides but illuminating them.

"Berries. That's a berry, isnit? I like berries. Do you like berries?" Tik mumbles. They lean forward, resting their head in their upturned hands, gazing at Lav with eyes starting to literally glow the color of the drink. It's not anything this species would normally do, but Tik's ability to accurately project the form seems to be... slipping. "I like you. Wanna dance?"

'Oh no..'

Tik had never been much of a drinker. They - the two of them - had tended to be the more sober ones. Not that Lav did not enjoy the camaraderie of the crew when intoxicated, but Lav used to worry about who they might be if they drank too much. They did not worry about that now. But clearly, they should at least be concerned where their former-now-returned crewmate was involved. They looked down at the two empty conical glasses. Neon dregs still dripped down the sides of the plasti-glass, sticking to it like syrup. It had burned, but was so heavily masked with sweet flavor that one might not think about how dangerous it was once they had a taste. Lav found themself suppressing a glare. They're head moved to look for where the culprits may have been lurking, but then...

Tik. So close. Mumbling. So softly. Their projection was so thinly veiled. But felt so close. Their willed coloration fluttered to a misty amethyst, soft, yearning purple and pale silver-blue that felt like it might shatter like glass and glowing but never brightening.

"We.." Lav breathed, the word coming out with a painful peal barely audible in the slowed but still thumping bass of the music that seemed to beat with their own heart. "should dance" they said, taking Tiks hand and guiding them toward the sea of bodies on the floor, keeping them close not wanting the comfort of their proximity to be pushed away unnecessarily. If anything, the movement should help burn off some of the intoxication. Lav would be an anchor, giving Tik something to focus on to keep their projection in place. "I have always loved to dance. We.." she breathed as the sounds began to take their affect on Lav's body, moving it in step and rhythm, "do not know dancing on my planet. There is no need for it, for us. I remember watching it as a small one, an envoy from another world trying to impress us with their movements. We did not impress. Not all. Not us But I..since discovering it, I feel like it does make me feel like..me.." they tried to explain, not sure how to fully describe how the Veyari disregarded any sense of culture or art, anything that made them individual.

► Show Spoiler

I allow myself to relax and let down my guard. I tell you about an important moment from my youth that shaped who I am today.

[Tikreta]

Tik is happy.

Happy to let Lav lead them to the dance floor. Happy to look around in fascination at the incredible variety of forms and species. Happy to think of how much better it is to be here, in this dimension, where they're safe for the moment from the enemy and they can simply enjoy themselves. Enjoy being held.

Apparently when Tik is intoxicated, it affects their emotional state but not their motor skills. Maybe that's a function of not actually being here physically, not entirely anyway. They stay close to Lav, also happy to sense however much of their physical form Tik can perceive.

As they dance, there are small hints that Tik isn't actually maintaining their projection very well. One of their six eyes blinks out of existence for a moment, blinking back in the next moment. Skin colors mottle, then blend, then shift hues. That sort of thing. It's harmless. Harmless. Right?

"That's so sad," Tik breathes. "I'm so glad you've learned to love movement like this. There's so much missing when physiality... physicattily? Physicality! is missing. Not valued. I learned that recently, you know." They go quiet, dancing slowly and sinuously, even though it doesn't particularly match the song. Tik is enthusiastic, but maybe not particularly beat-conscious. More words burst out. "The captain told me that. That I am not physical enough for her. Not... present. I don't think she likes me any more, not like she used to."

Tik's projection is definitely unmoored now. Their form fluidly shifts between each of the handful of species surrounding them. "But it's okay," they continue. "I don't think I like her much any more either. She was mean to me, Lav. After all I've done for her, she was..."

Suddenly, Tik's form stops changing, settling on that of another Veyari, their coloring speaking of a bone-deep sadness at odds with their bright tone of false cheer. "She was so mean. Not like you. You're lovely."

► Show Spoiler

I confess to my feelings about someone who’s not here with us. Do you give me advice that I take to the extreme, or reveal a dark secret about this person?

[Betua Argent]

Betua knows exactly what xe is doing there, and that only makes the situation more baffling. Xe had been driving xemself to distraction on The Siren, making plans to widen xer ability to track NCE incursions and plans to keep from being left behind again. Xe had been picking at xer skin so badly xe'd had to put on a tight, long-sleeved wrap to put a stop to it before xe opened xemself to infection.

So Betua had decided the thing to do would be to get out of the driver's seat and let something else drive xem to distraction. Hence the loud dance music, the light show, the sugar drinks, and the crush of people. Several of xem had already intimated that they like to climb xem, which just doesn't seem safe. It's flattering they think I have that kind of balance, but I just don't. Just because I'm dense doesn't mean I'm stable.

When the DJ set changes, the drum machine stops momentarily, and Betua can think again, xe looks around and xer eyes fall on two familiar forms. Of all the clubs, how did we all pick the same one? Betua bemoans inwardly. At first, xe thinks xe can just sneak out, using the crowd to keep them from noticing xer, but xe really doubts xe can pull that off.

As the new set starts up, Betua reluctantly moves towards Tik and Lav to pay xer respects. I'll say "hi," explain I'm just leaving, and do so, xe tells xemself. It's only as xe draws close that it occurs to xem that it is odd they haven't noticed yet. If they were playing the field, there's no way they'd fail to catch someone obviously approaching, especially a familiar face. Ergo, they are not playing the field; ergo their attention is on each other; ergo Betua is interrupting an intimate moment.

"Hiiiiooorrrryyy," Betua says, indecision over how to open blending xer words. Xe hasn't been drinking anything mind-altering, but one could be forgiven for thinking otherwise. "I was coming over to say 'hi,' but I didn't realize you two were—I wouldn't have interrupted if I had known you were on a date—which is lovely, I'm happy for you both." Come to think of it, xe is happy for them. Betua claps xer hands in front of xer face. "Oh, this is wondrous—how long have you—I shouldn't pry." Xe obviously wants to pry.

► Show Spoiler

I make assumptions about your romantic interests that may or may not reveal something your heart isn’t ready to accept. How do you overreact?

[Lavender]

Tik was a projection. Lav knew this. Tik existed both here and elsewhere. Lav understood this. Tik could manifest themself to be anything. Lav envied that limitless possibility.

But on the floor, Tik didn't feel like a projection. As bodies crushed inward and the beat pulsed through them all in a crashing wave, Lav felt their body pushing closer to Tik's just out of necessity. Lav could feel them. Not the way they felt the sea of others. The sea of others had pusling emotions that tickled along the sensitive receptors of their auracels. Tik was different. Emotion was there but so muted, nothing that could influence. Tik couldn't manipulate - that was the word they had learned, manipulate - through resonate emotional frequencies like the Veyari We. Tik had to use words to confirm the emotions that Lav could feel. Tik felt like a luminous orchid that radiated with soft golds and pinks, the cels on Lav's sink rippling like water as if they could actually feel Tik's happiness from across dimensions as they danced.

Tik was so beautifully different that Lav could just let their guard down. Let other emotions wash against them. Listen to Tik and dance with them, press their body closer to the projection, feel the edges of Tik's form. Keep them moving so when their form shifted from one lifeform to the next, Lav was their to move them so that no one would notice. Tik was everyone.

"You are valued.." Lav own voice tickled into Tik's ear as the beat changed. Lav's body moved naturally to the beats, absorbed into them and then pressed them forward to help their less beat-conscious friend find the time and place of the sound. Kept them here. Kept them present. "By everyone." They let their fingers lightly brush along the edges of Tik's projection, leaning in closer to rest their own body againt Tik as they let their eyes close. "It is Captain Keeyra that is not present. Overfocused on the mission. Not thinking of others. It was the same the last time too. Knowing the risks but demanding too much for the mission. You need to remind her what the mission is for. Only you can do that."

Suddenly, Tik's form stops changing, settling on that of another Veyari, their coloring speaking of a bone-deep sadness at odds with their bright tone of false cheer. "She was so mean. Not like you. You're lovely."

"You are enough Tikreta.." they whispered.

Tik's body shifted again, Lav knew they would need to move them so anyone observing wouldn't ask questions. Opening their eyes, Lav's skin flickered from the soft orcid to a cracked, fractured crimson-violet. The soft hued lavender of their eyes widened in shock and fear as panic struck them too fast. In their time with the crew, they had never interacted with another Veyari. That had been intentional. And now. Now Lav was staring back at one, one with a muted hollow rose aura that was pink, should have been an achingly thin pink but was trying to will itself to be a more brilliant cherry red, trying too hard to shine.

Lav had to push away. Shaking their head as they tried to hold on to the shoulders of Tik's projection. "WE.." they felt themself rasp out, voice rattling like bells being shaken in a panic. "I am not enough.." they managed to correct themself, the appearance of another Veyari rattling their sense of self.

► Show Spoiler

I desperately try to find common ground with you, but to no avail. Do you take pity on me and help me, or do you leave me to my misery?

"Hiiiiooorrrryyy," Betua says, indecision over how to open blending xer words. Xe hasn't been drinking anything mind-altering, but one could be forgiven for thinking otherwise. "I was coming over to say 'hi,' but I didn't realize you two were—I wouldn't have interrupted if I had known you were on a date—which is lovely, I'm happy for you both." Come to think of it, xe is happy for them. Betua claps xer hands in front of xer face. "Oh, this is wondrous—how long have you—I shouldn't pry." Xe obviously wants to pry.

The sounds of Betua's excited voice only deepens the panic on Lav's features, the violet hue growing more deep and now pulsing with cracked veins like a mirror that had shattered. 'What are xey doing here?..' The look was plain on their face - surprise that the doctor would even want to be at such a seedy place. "W.." they cringed, "I am not in relations with.." more panic, 'need to explain..don't hurt Tikreta.'

"Captain Keeyra said hurtful things to Tikreta. Said she was not valued. I am only cheering them up."

'I am not enough.'

It didn't sound right, and Lav knew it. It sounded worse to say it out loud. "Excuse me.." they said, pushing their way from the two trying to get to the bar head down. They did not want the stares, did not wantto know how Tik might react to them saying too much..again. Always saying too much. The waves of bliss and pleasure were making Lav feel sick.

► Show Spoiler

I accidentally let slip a secret that’s not mine to tell. How do you tease more information out of me, and what will you do with it?

[78rpmlife]

Physical changes are not something Tikreta is particularly used to. The captain hadn't been wrong when she'd commented all those weeks ago that they were physically present more fully now than they'd been in years. Possibly ever. The frustration and hurt over how the captain had spoken to them had masked that realization. That and the implications of their growing ability to manifest physically in this dimension were not particularly pleasant.

But one thing Tik does notice as they shift through manifestations is that physical changes seem to be a marvelous antidote to intoxication. At least, marvelous in the sense that they no longer feel the effects of the fruit-flavored hydraulic fluid they'd just chugged. Not so marvelous in the sense that Tik realizes just what form they've taken on and the response it gets from Lav.

Oh no. Lav... poor Lav!

"You are valued.." Lav own voice tickled into Tik's ear as the beat changed. Lav's body moved naturally to the beats, absorbed into them and then pressed them forward to help their less beat-conscious friend find the time and place of the sound. Kept them here. Kept them present. "By everyone." They let their fingers lightly brush along the edges of Tik's projection, leaning in closer to rest their own body againt Tik as they let their eyes close. "It is Captain Keeyra that is not present. Overfocused on the mission. Not thinking of others. It was the same the last time too. Knowing the risks but demanding too much for the mission. You need to remind her what the mission is for. Only you can do that."

"You are enough Tikreta.." they whispered.

Lav's closeness feels... what does it feel like? Lacking a frame of reference for the intensity of these physical sensations, Tik struggles to define it for themselves, only that it's a comfortable feeling. Warmth. It's like the times Tik would go out onto the balcony of their apartment with the captain, just when they could start manifesting again, and the twin suns were both in the sky and warmth would creep across their form while they watered plants. It made Tik happy. And maybe that was enough definition, all the definition that was necessary.

"I want to believe that. I do," Tik replies. "And I will, eventually. But we're all struggling through the wreckage of our memories of before. We didn't deal with that pain then, and it's only gotten harder -- so much harder -- to deal with now. We can't be like the captain, overfocused, not thinking of others. We only do this together, Lav."

"Hiiiiooorrrryyy," Betua says, indecision over how to open blending xer words. Xe hasn't been drinking anything mind-altering, but one could be forgiven for thinking otherwise. "I was coming over to say 'hi,' but I didn't realize you two were—I wouldn't have interrupted if I had known you were on a date—which is lovely, I'm happy for you both." Come to think of it, xe is happy for them. Betua claps xer hands in front of xer face. "Oh, this is wondrous—how long have you—I shouldn't pry." Xe obviously wants to pry.

The sounds of Betua's excited voice only deepens the panic on Lav's features, the violet hue growing more deep and now pulsing with cracked veins like a mirror that had shattered. 'What are xey doing here?..' The look was plain on their face - surprise that the doctor would even want to be at such a seedy place. "W.." they cringed, "I am not in relations with.." more panic, 'need to explain..don't hurt Tikreta.'

"Captain Keeyra said hurtful things to Tikreta. Said she was not valued. I am only cheering them up."

'I am not enough.'

It didn't sound right, and Lav knew it. It sounded worse to say it out loud. "Excuse me.." they said, pushing their way from the two trying to get to the bar head down. They did not want the stares, did not wantto know how Tik might react to them saying too much..again. Always saying too much. The waves of bliss and pleasure were making Lav feel sick.

Tik reacts before they can think it through fully. As Lav tries to push past, Tik reaches out a hand to take Lav's wrist. Gently, but still, the surprise at the warmth that contact transmits back to their extradimensional consciousness is intense. "We are cheering each other up," Tik says kindly. "We all need it. Do you need cheering up as well, Dr. Argent? We would be happy to welcome you into the expanding circle."

"We're not on a date," Tik continues, laughing lightly. It would be all too easy to hear it as casually dismissive of the idea. "I am not good at romance. Not with you physical beings. I think I have given up on it," they say with increasingly false brightness. I am enough, they think. Lavender said so. And I like Lavender. They wouldn't lie to me.

That thought rolls around the quantum separation between projection and being, answered by, I might need to lie to myself, though...

"I am not -- my people are not -- normally a solitary entity. When we are young, we link consciousness with others of our birth group, and as we age, our linkage groups shift and change, but there are never fewer than four or five of us in the group. I've..." they say, then trail off as the realization hits. "I have missed having other entities to share thoughts with," they continue quietly. "One other entity has not... been enough." That word has taken on such unexpected significance. But now they share it with Lav. And maybe they could share it with the good doctor as well, if...

"I would consider it a great honor to share with the two of you," they say, then hasten to add, 'Not... directly. Not in a linkage group like my people do in our native space. I do not believe anyone here possesses the proper biology. But symbolically?"

► Show Spoiler

I allow myself to relax and let down my guard. I tell you about an important moment from my youth that shaped who I am today.