Blowing Off Steam: Tik and Val

[Lavender]

"If I can offer advice, there are far more productive uses of your time than pining for the captain," Tik says, her projected form glitching between several of the forms they have adopted on this peculiar evening before settling back into an Axtri. "Cleaning the plasma core with a toothpick, for example, or painting flowers on the hull with UV-sensitive paint," they say blandly.

Tik looks down at their empty glass and puts it down on the table perhaps a bit more forcefully than absolutely necessary. "We need more drinks."

Unless one of the others stops them, Tik will head to the bar themselves this time.

Lav's snickered a bit as they dabbed a newly alcohol glossed finger back between their lips. Something about the image of painting flowers on the hull of The Siren, how the Captain might react to such a paint job, suddenly immensely funny to them in the moment. Their cels lit back to life with a flicker of intoxicating, uninhibited magenta at the mention of more drinks. The coloring streaked with flecks of gold that shimmered and faded away a little too quickly, like laughter that’s just a little too loud. Lav had been wanting to laugh at the conversation, anyways. More drinks sounded like a delightful idea. Nothing wrong could come from introducing more alcohol to this conversation.

And there it is. "Oh yes, I'm so luck-k-kr-k-ky," xe says with exaggerated brightness. "To be considered so weak-k-k and useless that I dodged two bullets—K-k-kyeera's affec-k-tion and K-k-kyeera's ambition. I should just forget about wanting things and let everyone else decide for me so that I k-k-can be safe and k-k-coddled forever." Betua splays xer branches in an attempt to look suitably ornamental, but xer unsteadiness somewhat spoils the effect.

Their eyes focused, over focused really, on Bea as xhey floated and fell deep into the throws of..whatever emotion they were feeling. Lav rarely emitted beyond their own spectrum. But Beatua drew something darker red, crimson, something that mixed with a deep violet to make a stormy burgundy. Emotions were getting more difficult to parse in their mind as their own multiple shots of drinks that were really meant to be sipped and enjoyed caught up to them. Lav - however - had become seasoned at drinking copious levels of dangerous recreational poisons in their time apart. Based on the Doctor's reactions, the same could not be said for xhem. 'Oh..miss those..times..' they thought. The first few cycles after their head had cleared enough to function and Lav tried everything to just..make that stop.

They were not entirely sure when they had started moving closer to Bea. They had been trying to remember what the sensation the Doctor was currently feeling felt like. Lav was fairly positive that their face was still neutral. Blissful. Normal. Not at all empty. Certainly not lifelessly smirking back at the Doctor like some unhinged puppet moving unnaturally into their space. They were still in control.

But they had gotten uncomfortably close. Their head made a slow, languishing tilt to one side as they took in what the Doctor had said. They were still smiling. 'Right?' A smile was appropriate still..'Right?'

"So..smart" Lav said. Their normal chime lost its warmth for a moment. In its place was simply: nothing. Bare. Exposed. "What could you have done to make things different? Who should have stayed behind and tracked it?" The target of their sharpness changed. Not at the Doctor. It. The NCE. "Zimeon, perhaps? Us?"

'Would you liked taking our place?'

"I consider you..very lucky Doctor Argent. So. Very. lucky."

► Show Spoiler

I move to sit closer, much closer. I’ll most likely pull away if you take things further. But for now, this is nice.

[Betua Argent]

They were not entirely sure when they had started moving closer to Bea. They had been trying to remember what the sensation the Doctor was currently feeling felt like. Lav was fairly positive that their face was still neutral. Blissful. Normal. Not at all empty. Certainly not lifelessly smirking back at the Doctor like some unhinged puppet moving unnaturally into their space. They were still in control.

But they had gotten uncomfortably close. Their head made a slow, languishing tilt to one side as they took in what the Doctor had said. They were still smiling. 'Right?' A smile was appropriate still..'Right?'

"So..smart" Lav said. Their normal chime lost its warmth for a moment. In its place was simply: nothing. Bare. Exposed. "What could you have done to make things different? Who should have stayed behind and tracked it?" The target of their sharpness changed. Not at the Doctor. It. The NCE. "Zimeon, perhaps? Us?"

'Would you liked taking our place?'

"I consider you..very lucky Doctor Argent. So. Very. lucky."

If Betua were sober, xe would be unnerved by the sudden change in Lav's affect, by the was they were moving into xer space, but Betua is not sober. It's not even that the drinks are giving xem unearned confidence; xe is simply oblivious to how provocative xe is being. Even the question about Zimeon does not register as the warning shot across xer bough that it is.

Betua has decidedly mixed feelings about counterfactuals, so xe chooses instead to ignore Lav's questions in favor of their insistent statements. "If you k-consider me. So. Very. Luck-kr-ky. Lavender," xe says, mirroring the tilt of Lav's head. "Then. Why. Did. You. K-Come. Back-k-k."

[Lavender]

Betua has decidedly mixed feelings about counterfactuals, so xe chooses instead to ignore Lav's questions in favor of their insistent statements. "If you k-consider me. So. Very. Luck-kr-ky. Lavender," xe says, mirroring the tilt of Lav's head. "Then. Why. Did. You. K-Come. Back-k-k."

"Whyyyy.." Lav's voice wound around the word like a power cell winding down. Depleted. It was like they were a copy of themself the longer the sound went on. Like they were exhaling that cobbled together sense of who the crew thought they were. Excreting it out until what was in front of Bea was just the shell. Just the empty shell that had returned with the rest of the crew, those that 'survived' at least. The empty shell used to frighten Lav. They sat, awake in their quarters, for cycles alone in the shell. Dead eyes that stared into a dark room until one day they remembered how to leave. Leave without a word. Leave and disappear.

'Why did they come back..' Lav asked themself.

But they knew the answer. And in knowing, they could still grin hauntingly at the good Doctor as they prodded with their most skilled instrument. Lav had always admired the good Doctor's mind. Deadened eyes never broke contact with Bea as they leaned in closer. They did not look away, not until they were close enough to whisper into xer ear. In a twisted moment of intimacy, their hand rested on the wrapped portion of xer arm.

"I came.." they whispered breathily, "to make it all end."

[Betua Argent]

But they knew the answer. And in knowing, they could still grin hauntingly at the good Doctor as they prodded with their most skilled instrument. Lav had always admired the good Doctor's mind. Deadened eyes never broke contact with Bea as they leaned in closer. They did not look away, not until they were close enough to whisper into xer ear. In a twisted moment of intimacy, their hand rested on the wrapped portion of xer arm.

"I came.." they whispered breathily, "to make it all end."

Betua's face turns stricken as xe processes what Lav is saying, anger effervescing in the face of this terrible wish. "Oh Lav," Xe wraps xer arms around them and whispers back, voice full of sorrow. "Lav, nothing ends."

[Lavender]

Betua's face turns stricken as xe processes what Lav is saying, anger effervescing in the face of this terrible wish. "Oh Lav," Xe wraps xer arms around them and whispers back, voice full of sorrow. "Lav, nothing ends."

In another time, Lav felt like Bea's reaction might have warmed something. Might have moved them to consider the deeper possibilities presented by xer words. Lav rested their chin gently against Bea, their free hand slipping around xer back and applying gentle pressure to return the embrace. It wasn't true. There had to be an end. The Captain had agreed to it already.

"We will see, Doctor Argent."

[78rpmlife]

When Tik reaches the bar, they point toward Lav and request the same thing they had ordered. The bartender asks if Tik wants six this time too, and they're struck dumb for a moment. It's been a strange night of intoxication and sobering in rapid succession and their thought processes are sufficiently jumbled to need a bit of time to process.

Six? But there were only three. Weren't there?

TIk turns around, trying to recall visually. They point to each of the glasses still at the table. They'd had one. Dr. Argent had downed the other two, and... oh.

They politely ask the bartender if their friend had drank the other three themselves.

"And a drop of zalith. Impressed they're still standing," they answer.

"We'd better just stick to three this time," Tik says. They fully expect the evening will end with at least two, if not all three, of them too intoxicated to make it back to the ship on their own, but that doesn't mean they need to rush things.

While they wait, one of the entities sitting at the bar, a Throvorash gently simmering in their nutrient bath suit, says, "I'd be happy to buy you a drink of your own, darling." Or at least that's what their translator unit says. The visual cortex of their bulbous brain, visible through the helmet of their suit and their translucent skin, cycles through a series of colors that Tik's quick research back in their home dimension suggests is a signal of blatant sexual intent.

Tik looks the Throvorash up and down as though intrigued, then says, "Are you emotionally distant?"

The Throvorash is taken aback by the question. Tik barrels on.

"How about nakedly ambitious to the exclusion of all other sentient emotion?"

"Uh..."

"Do you command a crew full of comrades who would take abject pleasure from firing you into the gravity well of a supermassive black hole?"

The Throvorash is so far off balance that all they can do is burble in their nutrient bath in confusion.

"No? Then you're not my type," Tik says. The bartender returns with the requested drinks and Tik smiles thinly. "Have a nice day."

As Tik returns to the table, they slow as they realize that the doctor is... hugging Lav. Hugging. So Betua didn't want Tik's embrace, but they're perfectly happy to give one to Lav. They make their final approach and set the tray down on the table with perhaps a bit too much violence. The Nebula's Kisses slosh in their glasses, a few drops spilling out onto the tray. "If the two of you were waiting until I left you alone to have a moment," they say, "I can always go back to letting Short, Wet and Lewd over there at the bar chat me up some more so you can keep having your moment."

They try to keep the brittle tone out of their voice, they really do. But they fail.

► Show Spoiler

We'll call this I make assumptions about your romantic interests that may or may not reveal something your heart isn't ready to accept. How do you overreact?

[Betua Argent]

In another time, Lav felt like Bea's reaction might have warmed something. Might have moved them to consider the deeper possibilities presented by xer words. Lav rested their chin gently against Bea, their free hand slipping around xer back and applying gentle pressure to return the embrace. It wasn't true. There had to be an end. The Captain had agreed to it already.

"We will see, Doctor Argent."

Betua promptly bursts into tears at Lav's response. It's not that xe's concerned about what Lav wants, really; it's that xe doesn't know how to properly explain to them that it's not going to help. A change of state is not an ending, so they'll just continue on as raw material for something. Granted, entropy might kick in eventually but even that's been called into question by the reality of extra dimensional exchange. Lav's never going to have peace. Existence is a prison no one escapes.

As Tik returns to the table, they slow as they realize that the doctor is... hugging Lav. Hugging. So Betua didn't want Tik's embrace, but they're perfectly happy to give one to Lav. They make their final approach and set the tray down on the table with perhaps a bit too much violence. The Nebula's Kisses slosh in their glasses, a few drops spilling out onto the tray. "If the two of you were waiting until I left you alone to have a moment," they say, "I can always go back to letting Short, Wet and Lewd over there at the bar chat me up some more so you can keep having your moment."

They try to keep the brittle tone out of their voice, they really do. But they fail.

Utterly oblivious to Tik's tone of voice, Betua sobs and extends an arm towards them. "Tik! Lav wants it all to end but the system isn't closed anymore! It's terrible."

[Lavender]

Betua promptly bursts into tears at Lav's response. It's not that xe's concerned about what Lav wants, really; it's that xe doesn't know how to properly explain to them that it's not going to help. A change of state is not an ending, so they'll just continue on as raw material for something. Granted, entropy might kick in eventually but even that's been called into question by the reality of extra dimensional exchange. Lav's never going to have peace. Existence is a prison no one escapes.

Lavender wasn't surprised. No. Shocked? It wasn't that either. Honestly, it was likely, part of them was still able to determine, that the multiple drinks at the bar were just making parsing emotions - their emotions, Betua's, the crowd around them, the music's - impossible. But still, they couldn't help but feel like something had been misunderstood in it all. The Captain had understood. Hadn't she? Why shouldn't Betua? Betua was far more intelligent, even if a little too gullible. Perhaps it was that childish quality that mad xem misunderstand? Or had Lav?

No. After all, the good doctor hadn't lived in or seen the shell for cycles. They hadn't had time to come to terms with what Lav was saying. To xem, of course it would be shocking. Perhaps even disturbing. Xey just didn't understand that the Lav xey knew had been gone for just as many cycles as Zimeon. They just had the unfortunate luck of a body that was still moving around the galaxy.

He had been the lucky one, in Lav's mind.

As Tik returns to the table, they slow as they realize that the doctor is... hugging Lav. Hugging. So Betua didn't want Tik's embrace, but they're perfectly happy to give one to Lav. They make their final approach and set the tray down on the table with perhaps a bit too much violence. The Nebula's Kisses slosh in their glasses, a few drops spilling out onto the tray. "If the two of you were waiting until I left you alone to have a moment," they say, "I can always go back to letting Short, Wet and Lewd over there at the bar chat me up some more so you can keep having your moment."

They try to keep the brittle tone out of their voice, they really do. But they fail.

Utterly oblivious to Tik's tone of voice, Betua sobs and extends an arm towards them. "Tik! Lav wants it all to end but the system isn't closed anymore! It's terrible."

And then, Lav began to laugh. A deep, uncontrollable laugh as Betua attempted to narc on them. Honestly they should have been mad. Except it just sounded all jumbled and wrong. They weren't trying to re-route an electrical circuit. The explanation just felt hilarious to them. They couldn't stop the laughter. For a moment, it almost sounded like the old Lav. The one they wanted Lav to be, was there. It didn't sound like Lav's laugh at all. Or did it?

And xey were so sincere about it too. So much so that Lav even felt bad for the laughter as they pressed themself out of the now three-fold embrace to lean against table and compose themself.

They sniffled. At some point their eyes had teared. Likely from the laughing. It couldn't possible be from something else. At this point, their eyes were like empty saucers, the alcohol finally doing its job. Leaving them numb and uncaring at the empty look deeply carved into their expression if anyone bothered to look to closely. Except no one ever did. Lav was there to offer comfort. Comfort for Tik. Then Betua. Now..them both.

"Don't be mad, Tikreta. W-I was simply here once the second kiss hit xer system. The second one is always an experience." they managed to say with only the smallest of drunken slurring.

They smiled. They laughed a bit more as they reached for one of the drinks. The tray was sticky. Honestly, these two needed to learn that sloshing the drinks would cause the float of Jirath to spill off first, diminishing the exquisite floating sensation.

"I'm just terrible.." they said with a smile. "And here is to our shared terrible decisions. I think.." they said, raising the glass and staring at them through the swirling haze of..everything, "I think the two of you were always my favorites."

► Show Spoiler

You’ve earned my trust, after all we’ve been through. I'll tell you something I’ve always wanted to tell you.

[Tikreta]

Utterly oblivious to Tik's tone of voice, Betua sobs and extends an arm towards them. "Tik! Lav wants it all to end but the system isn't closed anymore! It's terrible."

"Don't be mad, Tikreta. W-I was simply here once the second kiss hit xer system. The second one is always an experience." they managed to say with only the smallest of drunken slurring.

They smiled. They laughed a bit more as they reached for one of the drinks. The tray was sticky. Honestly, these two needed to learn that sloshing the drinks would cause the float of Jirath to spill off first, diminishing the exquisite floating sensation.

"I'm just terrible.." they said with a smile. "And here is to our shared terrible decisions.

Tik would like to be annoyed. Their research strongly suggests that in such a situation, annoyance or especially this confusing 'passive-aggressive' concept are both typical responses.

But Betua is offering to bring them into the embrace and Lav is laughing and...

"I think.." they said, raising the glass and staring at them through the swirling haze of..everything, "I think the two of you were always my favorites."

...research only gets you so far. At some point, you have to throw the book out the airlock and just do what feels right.

Tik steps into Betua's embrace, thinking how marvelous (how terrifying) it is to be able to manifest physically again. As they all step back again, Tik hands the second drink to Betua and keeps the third for themselves. "To favorites, then," they say, raising their glass in a toast. "The rest we can worry about tomorrow."

[Kaigen]

Elsewhere, in ways that strain the definition of "where":

These fragile minds are not enough. The Enemy can borrow their awareness, yes, but they crack from the slightest of pressures. They are not suitable tools and far unsuitable as weapons. It might as well swing a sword of glass as try to use one to inflict real harm.

Fortunately, there are some who, through direct exposure, have proven more resilient. The Enemy has need of them.

Zimeon, wake the others up. I require them.